I was browsing the net and this article about friendship got my eye...I find it is interesting and I think you should really read every phrase of it.

When our friendship is based on conditions, we'll probably end up playing one or more of the following games with each other:

1. Contracts: We might consciously or unconsciously set up agreements about behavior in our relationship. For example, we will not question, discuss or challenge certain issues - we'll push them 'under the carpet'. These contacts usually become psychological time bombs ready to go off.

2. Withholds: We all tend to withhold certain important information from each other. As a result of these withholds, one of us is blind to the views and opinions of the other. When I withhold I'm not allowing you to expand your awareness and thus eliminate your chance to change and grow. We tend to withhold negative information ("your breath smells", "I find you arrogant" or "stop treating me like..."), usually because we don't want to hurt each other.
We withhold positive information ("I find you attractive" or "I want you to hug me"), usually because we don't want to get hurt. In whatever case, these withholds create a distance between us.

3. Hidden Agendas: For as long as we have contracts and withholds within our relationship, there will be an unspoken 'something' going on beneath the surface. Although we might not be able to put a finger on the direct issue, we will still sense it. This creates distrust between us, which usually leads to hidden agendas. A hidden agenda is an intention or a goal that one (or both) of us doesn't want to communicate to the other. When this happens, we are no longer walking together...

4. Power Games: When we do not fully trust each other, we will try to increase our sense of security and avoid getting hurt by trying to control our friendship. This can take different forms, such as comparison ("I put more in the relationship than you are"), jealousy ("how come you're having so much fun with someone else?") and competition ("I'll do that better than you").

5. Negative Behaviors: When we cannot restore the trust and love in our friendship, it eventually breaks down. Then our friendship is reduced to a collection of negative behavior patterns such as blaming ("it's all your fault"), judging ("you're so aggressive that..."), avoiding ("I'm not willing to discuss this") and patronizing.

How to Make Our Friendship Work:

1. Responsibility: First and foremost, each one of us needs to take responsibility for our own needs, feelings, attitudes and behaviors. EVEN when it may appear easier to blame the other person. I keep reminding myself, if something exists in my life, then I must have created it in some way. I also remember, when I am aware of a problem and you aren't - it is always MY responsibility, either to solve the problem, or at the very least to make you aware of the problem, so we can become partners in solving it.

2. Respect, Care and Compassion: Respect means, no matter what state or place you are in and what state or place I am - I respect myself and I respect you! To care is to see what you need and being willing to give it (don't confuse what your friend needs with what your friend wants - they are not the same). Compassion is the ability to see you as you are without judgment, whilst asking myself, "why are you acting this way?" and "what can I do to support you?"

3. Exploration: We keep our relationship healthy through active exploration and mutual understanding of each other. For me this means sharing adventures together, taking risks together, learning from the experiences and giving each other feedback so as to share the wisdom we both accumulated.

4. Positivity: Simply put, it is always going for solutions. We can confront any difficulty or crisis easily when we work as a team at the solution. We go nowhere, when we become opponents or competitors or when we blame or undermine each other.

5. Confrontation: Our friendship is mature and strong when we can confront each other on important issues. Through genuine confrontation we can become aware and deal with our withholds, contracts and hidden agendas.

Article by: Nisandeh Neta, founder of Open Circles, an international center for personal-growth and leadership.